Customs of Bahrain

Marriage and Family

Some marriages are arranged, and even those that are not will normally have parental approval; few people marry without family authorization. In the past, women married in their early teens. Now most marry in their late teens or early twenties. A Muslim man is allowed to have four wives if he provides equally for each wife. However, few of the younger generation today consider polygamy a desirable lifestyle.
Marriage celebrations usually last for three days, with separate festivities for men and women. On one night, the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with henna, which stays on the skin for days. The bride is also adorned with gold jewelry, including a qobqob (headpiece). The bride’s family pays for the henna day and the groom’s family pays for the other two days.
Extended family ties play a fundamental role in Bahraini culture. People fiercely defend their family’s name and honor. The father is the ultimate authority in the home. Children, especially daughters, do not lightly disobey their father’s wishes. Married daughters often return to their parents’ home before they give birth and stay for 40 days after the birth to receive care from their mother and other female relatives. The closeness of the family is also evident in the respectful and loving attitude toward the elderly. After a death, relatives are close at hand to help with the grieving process. They also come to the aid of one another in times of need or financial hardship. Traditionally the family has been large, but it is becoming smaller as a result of an increase in family planning, more women staying in school longer, and economic constraints.

Families typically live in freestanding concrete dwellings. The home usually surrounds an open-air courtyard and has few windows, thus ensuring greater privacy. In older homes, wind towers provide air circulation and ventilation. Newer homes have air conditioners and electric ceiling fans.

Eating

Breakfast often consists of fresh kobouz (unleavened bread), scrambled eggs mixed with thin noodles and sprinkled with sugar, and cooked beans. Lunch usually includes some type of spicy rice dish such as beryani (rice with meat) or machbous (rice, meat, tomatoes, and lentils). Other popular dishes are saloneh (mixed vegetables) and harees, a traditional dish served during the month of Ramadan. Harees is a blend of wheat and meat cooked until mushy, with lard melted over the top. Halwa, a starch pudding mixed with crushed cardamom seeds, saffron, sugar, and fat, is traditionally served before qahwa (unsweetened coffee) to conclude the midday meal. The evening meal comprises mainly bajella (boiled beans), kobouz, an assortment of cheeses, and sweet tea and milk. Rottab (dates) are served with every meal. Fish and seafood are also staples of the typical diet. Western influence on the diet is increasingly evident, especially in urban homes. Some Bahrainis now eat packaged breakfast cereals and fast food.

People eat while seated on an Arabic sofa that rests on the floor. Using their hands, everyone eats out of communal dishes. The names of the daily meals are iftar or foutour (breakfast), ghada (lunch), and esha (supper). Devout Muslims do not eat or drink with their left hand, which traditionally is reserved for cleansing the body, but others will eat with either hand.

Bahrainis are pleased when guests enjoy the food and try all the dishes. Guests who have had enough to eat must act quickly with polite firmness to refuse more food. If one hesitates, more food is served. It is polite in traditional settings to leave a small amount of food on one’s plate. Typically a sweet tea is served with meals and on any social occasion.

Bahrain has many restaurants and fast-food establishments. It is customary for the eldest man in a group to pay the restaurant bill, especially on a family outing.

Socializing

Personal greetings are important in Bahraini society. The most common greeting is Assalam alikum (“The peace of Allah be upon you”). The usual reply is Alikum essalam, which has virtually the same meaning. The reply to SabaHel khair (“Good morning”) is SabaHel nur (“Good morning,” or literally, “May your morning be full of light”) and to MasaEl khair (“Good evening”), it is MasaEl nur (“Good evening,” or literally, “May your evening be full of light”). People respond to “How are you?” (Eshloanak for a man; Eshloanich for a woman) with Zain, al-Humdulillah (“Good, thanks be to Allah”). “Goodbye” is Ma’assalameh.

Handshakes are common and may last the length of the conversation. This or a hand lightly grasping the person’s arm shows friendliness. Good friends of the same sex sometimes kiss a number of times on the right and left cheeks. It is socially unacceptable for a man to greet a woman, unless the greeting is part of business protocol. Women, especially those from traditional families, look toward the ground in the presence of men.

It is customary to greet a member of the royal family by using the title Shaikh (for a man) or Shaikha (for a woman). For instance, Mohammed bin Rashid al-Khalifa would be addressed as Shaikh Mohammed or Shaikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Khalifa.

Bin and Ibn mean “son of.” Thus Ibn Khuldoon is the son of Khuldoon. Abu means “father of” when it is used before the given name of the oldest son. For example, Abu Mohammed is the father of Mohammed. Informal nicknames used among friends are often adapted forms of a person’s given name. Examples include Aboud for Abdulla, Hamoud for Mohammed, Fatoum for Fatima, Abbasi for Abbas, and Salmano for Salman.

Bahrainis often invite relatives, friends, and strangers into their homes. They visit immediate family almost daily, and cousins and other relatives usually every week. For more formal visits it is customary for guests to phone ahead and state the expected time of arrival. When visiting, a small gift is often brought for the hosts, such as sweets or flowers. Close friends and relatives might bring gifts such as perfume or clothing. Usually an invitation includes the offer of a large meal. Depending on the host’s lifestyle, men and women might eat together at one table. But if the host is more traditional, men do not socialize with unmarried women who are not their daughters or sisters.

In traditional homes, a guest stays until the hosts bring out bakhour (incense) and perfume. The incense is burned over a hot coal on a special stand, called a mabkhara. The incense and perfume are waved inward towards one’s body and hair. After this ritual, a guest is expected to leave. To stay longer is impolite.

Recreation

The most popular sport is soccer. Basketball, volleyball, field hockey, and cricket are also enjoyed. There are organized leagues for men, but women’s leagues were dissolved in 1979 after the Iranian revolution. Currently, girls and women may only play sports in connection with school, but there is talk that organized leagues may again be established. Bahrainis and expatriates participate in a variety of recreational activities, including sailing, waterskiing, fishing, falconry, horse racing, desert camping, aerobics, softball, ice skating, horseback riding, and tennis.

Holidays and Celebrations
Religious holidays are celebrated according to the lunar Hijri calendar, which is shorter than the Western (Gregorian) year by about 11 days. Because dates are set according to the moon’s phases, the Gregorian dates for holidays vary from year to year. The most important holidays are ’Aid al-Fitr and ’Aid al-Adha. ’Aid al-Fitr is a three-day feast indulged in after the month-long fast of Ramadan. ’Aid al-Adha both commemorates Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son at Allah’s behest and marks the time for the hajj, or annual pilgrimage to Mecca (Makkah). A third important holiday is the Prophet Muhammad’s birthday.

Bahrain’s Shiite Muslims celebrate Assura, a two-day holiday during which believers parade through the streets, enacting the suffering of the martyr Hussain, Muhammad’s grandson.

The International New Year is celebrated by some on 1 January. Bahrain’s National or Independence Day is on 16 December. This date marks the country’s independence from the United Kingdom in 1971. Christmas has an honorary place on the calendar; known as the “festive season,” it is not uncommon for Bahrainis to set up Christmas trees and exchange gifts, even though the religious significance of the holiday is minimal.